even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
