in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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