I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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