he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
