I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
