ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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