It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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