Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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