i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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