Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Girls should come with a carfax report
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
