Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
