I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Randomize
