You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
