it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
