mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
