I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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