they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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