It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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