These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
