Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
