My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
