i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
