your room smells of hookers.
And success
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Can I color on your dick again?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
