Old men and throwing up are my life now.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize