i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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