Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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