what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize