He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
