Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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