i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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