I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
