Me too!
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize