is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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