He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
