Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
