I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i now understand why vodka
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize