I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he thought i was a dude.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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