Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
