Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
