Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
