I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
