girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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