What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
