Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize