your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
