from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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