you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
