I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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