his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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