I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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