We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
