Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
