i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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