I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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