Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
