i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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