i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
