Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
