I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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