i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
