Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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