He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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