is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
