My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
