We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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