Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Come share oat with me in your robe
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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