i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
How's work?
Spinning.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
