At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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