I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize