what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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