living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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