He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
