i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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