if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize