He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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