ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
