I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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