Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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